i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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