I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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