WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
