I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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