non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
