I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
