...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
