I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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