Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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