you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize