a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
