I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
