quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
