Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
