carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize