Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
3 2 1 whiskey
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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