Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
