Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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