We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I can't turn off my feet"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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