I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize