Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
