Who wears a wallet chain?!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
