Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
