If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
