I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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