I CAN MOONWALK!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It was like giving head to a cactus.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Randomize
