Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
