How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What a dumb baby whore.
They took my balls.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
