she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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