Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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