Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
