i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
