the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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