no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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