I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
well you can't waste a boner
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
