Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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