I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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