I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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