Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
