well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
