I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize