omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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