I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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