i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
