i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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