So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize