Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
