Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
