I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize