idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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