12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
