I faked an abortion last night.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
