So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
