oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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