Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
