a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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