Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i think i just lost a toe
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
