it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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