I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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