giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
