Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
pop tarts are not kleenex
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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