there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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