i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
