I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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