It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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