go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
