I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize