youre lurking in front of me
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
