Im at strip club and am horny
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
