Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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