We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
