Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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